Wild Cows: The Untold Story

Wild Cows: The Untold Story


We all know, or think we know, what a cow is. They're those slow, dim-witted, grass chewing, milk giving meat sacks that you yell "Moo" at when you drive by them in the country. True enough. But were they always this way? Science tells us that cows, like all animals, are always in a state of evolution, not unlike Pokemon.

Actually, doesn't evolve

While it's true that cows were among the first animals to be domesticated we must be aware that this was not always the case. There were once wild cows.

Most scientists now believe that sometime before the dawn of man, wild cows roamed the plains of Central Asia. They traveled in packs, hunting their prey - what's that? Yes, you heard correctly, hunting. You see, wild cows were carnivores. According to noted evolutionary biologist Dr. May King Astori, a recent discovery in Turkey has revolutionized thinking on bovine evolution. The jaw structure and bite of the fossils uncovered in Turkey has led to the conclusion that bovines were once carnivorous, or at least omnivorous. It is believed that wild cows lived in packs, dominated by a male, the alpha cow. The rest of the pack would consist of females and young, with young males being permitted to stay until adulthood. It is believed they hunted smaller game, deer like creatures and smaller. The females were largely responsible for hunting, using a strangulation strategy whereby the pack would surround it's prey, slowly close in, with one cow eventually falling on the prey, crushing it to death.

Due to some recently revealed paleolithic cave paintings, scientists can infer possible mating patterns of the wild cow. It appears that the females engaged in combat to win potential mates in what is known as "locking the udders" It seems the cows would charge each other sideways and, with great force, smash their udders into each other. Sometimes the udders would become entangled, resulting in, if not great loss of life, then great loss of milk.

There is also some evidence that cows once lived in trees and laid eggs. As outrageous as some of these findings may be, one must understand that evolutionary science is always changing, evolving if you will. Not long ago the idea of feathered dinosaurs would have been preposterous, but recent discoveries have shown this to be true. As Dr. Astori stated, "We know what we know when we know it. But when we learn something new, that changes what we knew, then we know that what we thought we knew we no longer know."

So, next time your driving down a country road and see a bunch of cows, remember, you might have been "what's for dinner."