Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Space Godzilla Arrested

"Spacy-G's" mugshot


ST. LOUIS, Mo. (AP) -  Space Godzilla, half brother of international celebrity and current Presidential candidate Godzilla, was arrested Monday evening after a drunken rampage that left 43 people injured and extensive property damage.

According to police, the incident began when Space Godzilla approached the city of St. Louis at about 7pm. Space Godzilla, who refers to himself as "Spacy-G," claimed to have been drawn to the city by the iconic Gateway Arch, which he mistook for a "big-ass McDonald's."
Just imagine the McNuggets.
After waiting for a considerable time at what he thought was the "drive thru," he became upset at "the shiz-ity service." Space Godzilla then ambled over to the Budweiser plant where he proceeded to empty the beer tanks of their contents.
Two six-packs.
Space Godzilla then "relieved" himself in the downtown district causing extensive flooding and traffic problems.
Pictured: not water.
After taking a late night swim in the Mississippi, he waded ashore, crashed through the bleachers at Busch Stadium where he passed out. 

The Godzilla campaign issued a statement saying, "Mr. Godzilla deeply regrets his accidental relationship to Space Godzilla and offers his sincerest condolences to the city of St. Louis, especially for the flooding. The last time they spoke, Mr Godzilla told his brother to 'Piss off.' He didn't think he would take it literally."

"Spacy-G's" roll model.
When asked if he was concerned that his actions might negatively reflect on Godzilla's Presidential run Space Godzilla replied, "actually, I always hoped I could one day be a first-brother in the Billy Carter/Roger Clinton mold."

 Space Godzilla was cited with reckless endangerment, public urination and exceedingly indecent exposure. His bail was set for 70 gagillion dollars.