Friday, October 28, 2011

Godzilla 2012 News: Presidential Poll

Godzilla Holds Commanding Lead in latest 2012 Poll

NEW YORK (AP) -  A Facebook / poll released today shows 3rd party candidate Godzilla with a commanding lead in the 2012 Presidential election. In the poll, which asked prospective voters, "If the election was held today, who would you vote for?" Godzilla captured an astounding 82.5 % of the vote, followed by President Obama with 12.5 % and former MA. Gov. Mitt Romney at 5%.

"What you see here is voter dissatisfaction with those in power," said G-party spokespersons the Shōbijin also known as the Mothra faeries. "Godzilla will bring true leadership and a willingness to listen. He may still step on you but at least he will listen."

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Godzilla to Join Dancing with the Stars?

Godzilla "cutting the rug" with King Kong.
Godzilla to join Dancing With the Stars?

Godzilla, currently running for President of the United States in the 2012 election, has been cited as a possible participant for the 2012 season of the popular ABC show Dancing with the Stars. A source close to the show is quoted as saying, "Our people have been in talks with his people/monsters."

While Godzilla has issued no formal comment, a G Party spokesman has indicated that there is no truth to this rumor.

Godzilla is known for his jitterbug skills and he also has been known to do the Charleston from time to time.

Amazing Fact: Confucious' Love Advice

The original Barry White
Confucious: Love Machine

Confucious, born around 551 B.C. is well known as a a great Chinese philosopher/thinker. What is not so well known is how "bootyliscious" he was.

Sadly, most of his best love sayings have been hijacked by rock and pop artists over the years and the original authorship long forgotten.

Some of his finer lines:

"If you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with."

"If your girl starts acting up, then you take her friend."

"You can't hurry love. No, you just have to wait."

"She's got legs. She knows how to use them."

There is no doubt - Confucious was a genius.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

LEGO Zelda: Help me out!

Would you like to own this? IT CAN HAPPEN
Hey gang! LEGO has this awesome new service called Cuusoo. If your design is popular enough, LEGO might actually produce it! Please "like" my design and support it if possible. May the triforce be with you!

Clickety click here to help me out!

My set also features a canon to blast pesky sea beasts!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Ode to a Gas Station Toilet

I have penned (well, actually typed) a poem in honor of the gas station toilet. I'm not usually given to prose, but I felt moved, much like my colon after mushrooms. Here 'tis:
Ode to a Gas Station Toilet

O you tired porcelain,
spattered and stained,
your foundation, slightly askew,
like so much of the ass which has
graced your weary mantle.

There you sit,
a worn, dirty brown brush,
it's frayed bristles
adorned with filth and dust
and a cracked plunger,
it's rubber, dry and caking,
it's handle split
your only companions.

Yet your lonely vigil you keep
"Come," you say. "Sit thine throne, mighty one.
Loose thy weary burden."
Your words are but a cruel jape
your great maw beholds what remains
of the last "mighty one"
who sat your unholy dais.

O, gas station toilet,
how long will you endure?
How long before your casings give way,
before you flee the curses
and excrement
heaved upon you?

For me, I shall never know.
I have already left.

For the woods.

Friday, October 14, 2011

The Worst Thing in the History of Forever

Worst. Thing. Ever.

Hi there! Hope your having a good day 'cause I'm about to ruin it. And you'll probably never sleep again. You're welcome.

Don't worry, it's just a video from a long time ago. He can't hurt you now.

Oh wait...he's RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

Back in bidness!

"My favorite websites back? Hot damn!"
I'm Back!

Hi again! To all of my faithful, dedicated fan out there who've been suffering knowledge deprivation: your wait is over. EyeJustMadeItUp is back in bidness!

Look forward to more of the hard-hitting, thoughtful journalism, commentary and shrewd advice you've come to expect from EyeJustMadeItUp. We're not afraid to ask the tough questions and give you the tough answers (or tough lies if we don't know the answer). 

You want to know how Godzilla's presidential campaign is going? You got it.

Want to learn how to save your doomed relationship? Mr. Pigmon has the answers.

Afraid of wild cows? You should be.

So look out internets, we're back, better than ever, ready to fill your head chock full of knowledge, so you too can be full of it. Information, that is.