Friday, August 10, 2012

BREAKING: GODZILLA NAMES RUNNING MATE

Godzilla Chooses Mothra for V.P.


New York, NY (AP) -  Presidential Candidate Godzilla announced today that he has selected fellow kaiju (giant monster) and one time rival Mothra to be his running mate in the fall election. Addressing an assembly of press Godzilla said (through his interpreters), "I am pleased to announce that today, after thoughtful and careful consideration, I have selected Mothra to be my Vice President. There were many kaiju who would have been worthy of this honor, including my good friend Angurius, but in the end I chose the kaiju kicks the most ass, including mine at times! Mothra has the courage and tenacity to handle this tough job and I know she will be an outstanding V.P. It is my great honor to introduce to you: Mothra, the next Vice President of the United States of America!"

Mothra then addressed the assembly, using the same interpreters Godzilla has employed throughout his candidacy - two tiny women, saying, "I am thrilled to stand along side Godzilla, King of Monsters and soon to be President of the United States. We are ready for this challenge and we WILL prevail. The only question he asked me was: 'Are you ready to kick ass?' My answer: 'Hell. Yes.' Get ready Mr. Romney and Mr. Obama. We are coming!"

If elected, Mothra would be the first female Vice President.

The candidates then promptly flew (Mothra carrying Godzilla) to their next event.