BREAKING: GODZILLA NAMES RUNNING MATE

Godzilla Chooses Mothra for V.P.

New York, NY (AP) -  Presidential Candidate Godzilla announced today that he has selected fellow kaiju (giant monster) and one time rival Mothra to be his running mate in the fall election. Addressing an assembly of press Godzilla said (through his interpreters), "I am pleased to announce that today, after thoughtful and careful consideration, I have selected Mothra to be my Vice President. There were many kaiju who would have been worthy of this honor, including my good friend Angurius, but in the end I chose the kaiju kicks the most ass, including mine at times! Mothra has the courage and tenacity to handle this tough job and I know she will be an outstanding V.P. It is my great honor to introduce to you: Mothra, the next Vice President of the United States of America!"

Mothra then addressed the assembly, using the same interpreters Godzilla has employed throughout his candidacy - two tiny women, saying, "I am thrilled to stand along side Godzilla, King of Monsters and soon to be President of the United States. We are ready for this challenge and we WILL prevail. The only question he asked me was: 'Are you ready to kick ass?' My answer: 'Hell. Yes.' Get ready Mr. Romney and Mr. Obama. We are coming!"

If elected, Mothra would be the first female Vice President.

The candidates then promptly flew (Mothra carrying Godzilla) to their next event.

Space Godzilla Arrested

"Spacy-G's" mugshot

BREAKING: GODZILLA'S BROTHER ARRESTED AFTER DRUNKEN BINGE.

ST. LOUIS, Mo. (AP) -  Space Godzilla, half brother of international celebrity and current Presidential candidate Godzilla, was arrested Monday evening after a drunken rampage that left 43 people injured and extensive property damage.


According to police, the incident began when Space Godzilla approached the city of St. Louis at about 7pm. Space Godzilla, who refers to himself as "Spacy-G," claimed to have been drawn to the city by the iconic Gateway Arch, which he mistook for a "big-ass McDonald's."

Just imagine the McNuggets.

After waiting for a considerable time at what he thought was the "drive thru," he became upset at "the shiz-ity service." Space Godzilla then ambled over to the Budweiser plant where he proceeded to empty the beer tanks of their contents.

Two six-packs.

Space Godzilla then "relieved" himself in the downtown district causing extensive flooding and traffic problems.

Pictured: not water.

After taking a late night swim in the Mississippi, he waded ashore, crashed through the bleachers at Busch Stadium where he passed out. 

The Godzilla campaign issued a statement saying, "Mr. Godzilla deeply regrets his accidental relationship to Space Godzilla and offers his sincerest condolences to the city of St. Louis, especially for the flooding. The last time they spoke, Mr Godzilla told his brother to 'Piss off.' He didn't think he would take it literally."

"Spacy-G's" roll model.

When asked if he was concerned that his actions might negatively reflect on Godzilla's Presidential run Space Godzilla replied, "actually, I always hoped I could one day be a first-brother in the Billy Carter/Roger Clinton mold."


 Space Godzilla was cited with reckless endangerment, public urination and exceedingly indecent exposure. His bail was set for 70 gagillion dollars.

BREAKING NEWS: GIGAN ENTERS RACE

BREAKING NEWS: GIGAN TO ENTER U.S. PRESIDENTIAL RACE  

HOPES TO CAPTURE THE G-PARTY NOMINATION 

CONCORD, NH (AP) Today Gigan, the space-mutant cyborg, known for his combative personality, announced his candidacy for President of the United States. 


The stunning announcement, which was not anticipated, was made in a quickly convened press conference in Concord.


Gigan indicated that he was seeking the G-Party nomination.


When asked why he was running he stated, "Because Godzilla is a punk."

Godzilla News: Book publishing deal falls through

Where's Godzilla? Book publishing deal fails to materialize.

SOMERVILLE, MA (AP) Today, Candlewick Press announced they will not be publishing a scheduled children's book collaboration with well known film star Godzilla. Godzilla, currently running as an independent candidate for President, expressed his disappointment over the decision.

Pictured: Godzilla's disappointment.

Marty Lineart, a Candlewick spokesperson said, "Unfortunately, the book project encountered some difficulties we just didn't consider.

Candlewick press, which publishes the popular "Where's Waldo" series, had initially hoped to produce a similar series using Godzilla's enduring popularity.

Here is a sample image from the canceled "Where's Godzilla?" project:

It wasn't deemed challenging enough.

Godzilla Cares: Nutrition PSA

Godzilla Cares: Nutrition PSA

Here's an important message from Godzilla regarding good nutrition.

Words of wisdom form someone who knows a thing or two about devouring.

Presidential Election 2012: Analysis

Presidential Election 2012: Analysis - 1 Year Out

Welcome to EyeJustMadeItUp.com's exclusive analysis of the 2012 Presidential election.


In order to make an informed decision, you need thoughtful, insightful, unbiased analysis yet you chose to come here. Bully for you. On to the analysis.


Before we begin, you need to understand the nature of Political Analysis, and by that I mean, understand that "anal" is part of analysis. Now we are ready to proceed.

The Democrats

President Barack Obama

President Obama, pray for us.

On January 20, 2009 our country finally woke from it's national nightmare to the sounds of singing birds, warm gentle breezes blowing across sun kissed pastures. We awoke to Hope. Barack H. Obama (I believe the "H" is for "Holy") became the 44th President of the United States on this day, arriving at his inauguration mounted on a crystal white unicorn crapping a river of rainbows.


So, where are we at in the Obama presidency?


With Obama's victory, Democrats received a massive mandate from the American people: a huge majority in the House and an almost super majority in the Senate.


President Obama went to work immediately, executing the sweeping changes he promised as a candidate. He ended the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, closed Guantanamo Bay, ended extraordinary rendition, restored civil liberties compromised by the Patriot Act, took on the Wall Street crooks, crafted a stimulus package and jobs programs that put Americans back to work, lowering the unemployment rate to 6% and, using his huge majority in Congress, passed comprehensive health care reform, creating a European style system that guaranteed health care for all Americans. He won the Nobel Peace Prize and his portrait replaced George Washington's on Mount Rushmore The presidential counter was reset, meaning Barack Obama is now considered the 1st President of the USA. On his seventh day in office he rested.

F*#@ you George.

Oh, snap. I apologize. I was lazy and I just used the info I had on Candidate Obama and extrapolated to President Obama. Sorry, my bad. So, yeah, what I said, basically just take my analysis and read it as if he did the opposite. The right never liked this guy, they basically consider him Stalin wearing Satan's panties. However, it's the left he needs to worry about. This president is venerable.


Oh, and I was right about the Nobel Peace Prize. I guess he got that for...expanding two wars? 

The Republicans

So, the President is venerable. A fistfull of broken promises, a bad (awful) economy and gloomy outlook has given the American public a sense of Buyer's Remorse. The time is ripe; surely the G.O.P can take advantage of this situation.

Er...wrong situation.

Time to look at the Republican field:

Mitt Romney

The best image I could find.

Mitt Romney: The eventual nominee. At least, that's what the Romney campaign would have everyone believe. Unfortunately for the Romney campaign, G.O.P. voters have been very fickle in their convictions. Fortunately for Romney, that's something he completely understands. There's still plenty of time for him to craft core convictions that will appeal to a majority of Republicans. The trick will be to modify those core beliefs to grab independents and dems, without losing the G.O.P. If anyone can do it, he can.

Newt Gingrich

"It's 'bout yea big. Look the ladies love me."

Newt Gingrich loves babies...TO EAT THEM. We kid, we kid. The former House speaker, is currently leading the pack. Known for his jovial conciliatory manner, Mr. Gingrich is a non-divisive figure capable of uniting America. Oh, say, I have this bridge...

Gov. Rick Perry

"Don't mess with Texas.

Gov. Perry was the 43rd President of the United States of America. He is running for a third term. To date, his candidacy has been plagued by missteps and miscalculations, like much of his Presidency.

Ron Paul

"THIS AMENDMENT SHALL NOT PASS!"

HOLY $#!%!! I DIDN'T REALIZE HE WAS THE DUDE WHO PLAYED GANDALF IN THE LOTR MOVIES!!


Wow. This kinda changes everything. Do I want a wizard for President? Hell yes! Go Ron Paul!!


EDIT: Damn. I did some research and I'm sorry to inform you that Ron Paul was not Gandalf, but just some wacky Congressman from Texas. Oh well...

Michele Bachmann

Win.

OMG!!! MICHELLE BACHMANN WAS BATBOY?? I F#$%ING LOVE BATBOY. SHE IS TOTALLY MY CANDIDATE!! So help you internet this better not turn out to be false. After the Ron Paul thing I don't think I could take it.


EDIT: FU internet. F. U.



Enough already. Who the hell isn't running for the G.O.P. nomination? Ima speeding this shite up.

The Rest

Rick Something - He was like, Gov. or Congressman or something?

Jon Huntsman - This movie looks like ass.

Herman Cain - Pizza pizza.

So...this is what America has to choose from? Oh, wait there is an alternative.

The G-party

Godzilla, King of Monsters

Bad ass.

Consider, if you will, how Godzilla would deal with the festering Capitol-shaped cow patty in Washington. It wouldn't be pretty, but it sure as tits would be damn effective.


Congress holding up nominees? Not gonna happen.


Filibusters? Bring it the f@#$ on.


President Godzilla would cut through the red tape faster than Gigan runs away (for those unfamiliar w/the Godzilla series, that's friggin' fast).


President Godzilla would put America back to work - big time - rebuilding this great country. Literally. New roads, new buildings, new cities; America reborn from the ashes (again, literally).


Foreign policy credentials? Ask Japan.


The choice is clear, America needs a President and Godzilla's available.
 


Conclusion

Well, this concludes our analysis for now. The choice is up to you. You can make the right choice (Godzilla) or the wrong choice (Some douche not named Godzilla) but please exercise your right to vote.

 

Godzilla to Join Dancing with the Stars?

Godzilla "cutting the rug" with King Kong.

Godzilla to join Dancing With the Stars?

Godzilla, currently running for President of the United States in the 2012 election, has been cited as a possible participant for the 2012 season of the popular ABC show Dancing with the Stars. A source close to the show is quoted as saying, "Our people have been in talks with his people/monsters."

While Godzilla has issued no formal comment, a G Party spokesman has indicated that there is no truth to this rumor.

Godzilla is known for his jitterbug skills and he also has been known to do the Charleston from time to time.

Happy Father's Day from EyeJustMadeItUp!

Happy Father's Day from
EyeJustMadeItUp!

Have a wonderful Father's day all you dad's out there! Take the time to play with your little Godzilla (wait, that didn't sound right), I mean, enjoy your time with your children. They will only be this age once; tomorrow they'll be a day older! But the day past cannot be got back. Fatherhood is truly the most exciting, fulfilling, enlightening task I've ever undertaken. My son is my joy. Have fun with your kids! Build LEGO! Play catch! Go fishin'! Bake a cake! Eat a cake! Love! Live!

Weeeeee! Kid, your breaking the ol' man's back! Aw, love ya anyway!

 

LEGO Masterpeice of the Day

LEGO Godzilla by Moko

Yes, what you are beholding is Godzilla made of LEGO. This model is impressive in both size and execution. For those unaware, Moko is a master builder; his Brickshelf account offers loads of interesting builds and techniques. This creation is somewhat old but appropriate given it's relevance to developments in the Presidential election.

This model is chock full of snot (and no, I'm not talking about buggers) and creative building techniques.

To give some idea of the scale involved, here's a pic of the tail with a minifig.

 

Now that's what I call a nice piece a tail...

I would estimate the full figure to be about 3' - 4' tall. Moko is a building God...zilla! *rimshot*
Really, do yourself a favor and explore the rest of this gallery. While your at it, go through the rest of his brickshelf galleries. I guarantee you it's worth it!

I'm Godzilla, and I approve this LEGO Masterpiece of the day

UPDATE: Godzilla E-mail Controversy

UPDATE: Godzilla E-mail Controversy

Just saw Chris Matthews on MSNBC discussing the Godzilla situation and rally that just took place in Manchester. He said, "When I saw the level of love and emotion; I mean, you don't usually see that kind of love for a politician. And when they zoomed in and you could see Godzilla, he had this tear rolling down his face, thinking of all he's gone through and the picture of his junk, I, I felt this thrill shoot right up my leg." He then excused himself.

"I felt a tingle..."

Wow. Not to dissimilar to this incident.

The "G Party" Emerges: Voters show support

Manchester residents hold signs and flags in support of Godzilla.

The "G Party" Emerges

Voters Show Support for their "Big G"

MANCHESTER MA (AP) - Supporters rallied in Manchester NH to show support for Godzilla, amid an emerging e-mail scandal. On Thursday, it was reported that an Idaho college student received a lewd e-mail from an account linked to Godzilla.

Despite the controversy, Godzilla supporters, many referring to themselves as "G Pariters," cheered enthusiastically, waving signs and flags, when Godzilla appeared on the scene. The crowd seemed unfazed by the situation, and a small but very vocal contingent chanted repeatedly, "Who da ho? I da ho!" in an apparent response to Idaho Attorney General Lawrence Wasden's announcement that he was "looking into the matter."

Godzilla seemed visibly moved by the display of affection; a single tear trickling down his face. He let out a choked up "SKEEEEERONK" and quickly departed.

Godzilla's Weiner Moment

Godzilla's Weiner Moment

MANCHESTER, NH (AP) On the heels of Anthony Weiners resignation, comes news of another potential political scandal.

Popular gossip site TMZ is reporting that 2012 Presidential hopeful Godzilla e-mailed a lewd photo of himself to an Idaho St. college student. They claim the photo, which they refer to as a "shot of his junk," was sent to Kimberly Amber Lynn, a 21 year old junior at Idaho St., along with a message reading, "Kimberly, did you say, 'I da ho?'"

A Godzilla spokesman issued a statement saying, "Mr. Godzilla did not have relations with this young woman, digital or otherwise and we will make that clear, uh, when we do."

Godzilla, while out greeting prospective voters, was questioned by reporters as to whether or not the image in the photo was his. In a scene, eerily similar to the recent scandal involving Congressman Anthony Weiner, Godzilla replied, "I can not verify, at this time, whether or not it is me...I...I really can't see past my belly." He hastily exited the scene by taking four steps into neighboring Mass.

Once released, the "junk shot" began circulating quickly. The Godzilla campaign seemed unprepared and uncoordinated and was scrambling to do damage control.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reacts to seeing the Godzilla "junk" shot.

Ohh no. Here we go...

So the campaigns off to a great start, every thing's going smooth and BAM! you get hit in the face with a massive, hard to take news story like this. A story bulging with potential danger, that could burst at any moment. I pray that this turns out to be false. Or that he was hacked. Ugh...I too upset to type.

I still believe in you Godzilla, don't let me down.

Godzilla 2012 News: Poll

Godzilla For President Facebook Poll

The Kaiju Fairness Foundation is conduction a poll on Facebook. The poll asks, "If the election was held today, who would you vote for?" There are three options to answer: (Independent Candidate) Godzilla, (Current President) Barack Obama, and (frontrunner and prospective Republican nominee) Mitt Romney. The Kaiju Fairness Foundation encourages all prospective voters (on Facebook) to participate in this poll. Results will be revealed Friday.

A poll has been added for those who are not on Facebook. Thanks to ima girl for the tip.

Remember, vote for the candidate of your choice, whether it's Godzilla or one of the other douches.

Pictured: Godzilla and the other douches.

Godzilla News 2012

Godzilla Book Signing

Godzilla will be signing copies of his book "My Life on the Ant Farm" 2:00 p.m. Wed. at Barnes and Noble in Salem, NH. First 100 people in line will receive a guarantee not to be stepped on.

EyeJustMadeItUp Offically Backs Godzilla for President in 2012

Godzilla for President 2012!

If we are made from the clay of the gods, then politicians are made from the god's monkey's poo when they're not busy flinging it. So yeah, politicians are basically bottom feeding, soul sucking, lying, cheating, meat sacks formed from monkey poo. I've never known a politician I could actually support. It's always been pick the lesser of two doucebags. Well, not any more. No sir. God-f'ing-zilla has entered the 2012 Presidential election. I am all over this shit.

In the coming months, I will do all I can to get this bad boy elected. You think any other country wants to mess with this dude? Answer - two words: Fuck. & No. This is the kind of ass-kicking leadership this country needs now. The dry cleaning industry will have to shut down from all the pant shitting that congress would do if they had to deal with President Godzilla. Can you say atomic veto power?

Eye Just Made It Up is proud to officially support Godzilla in his candidacy for the Presidency of the United States of America. Join us.

 

Or get crushed...

Godzilla for President 2012 News

Godzilla Harassed by Reporter  
Questions emerge about birthplace

CONCORD (AP) - Presidential hopeful Godzilla was greeting potential voters this morning in a Concord food market when a man who identified himself as a NY Post reporter accosted the candidate with questions regarding his place of birth. "Will we get to see a birth certificate?" the reporter shouted repeatedly. After continued questioning, Mr. Godzilla confronted the reporter. "Who the f**k are you? Are you Donald F***ing Trump?" said the irate candidate before stepping on the reporter. There were no further questions.

Godzilla: Presidental Candidate for 2012

GODZILLA: ANNOUNCES CANDIDACY FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
Will Run as an Independent

CONCORD (AP) - Godzilla, a reclusive and mysterious personality, best known for his controversial work in Japan, announced today that he was entering the 2012 Presidential field, running as an independent candidate. Before a packed audience, Godzilla stepped up to a massive podium, a large banner boldly proclaiming: "HOPE (you don't get crushed)" stretched across it, and addressed the crowd. "This country is being destroyed," he stated through an interpreter (two young Asian women who were not identified), "more completely than if I stomped through every city in America. Whereas my destruction is awesome, this destruction that America faces is sad. While it would be easy, and yes, fun, for me to eradicate the problem that is destroying this country, specifically: it's government, by blasting Washington with a well deserved shot of atomic breath, this would only be a short term solution. I therefore resolve to solve this problem from within; by running for President of the United States of America!" The speech seemed well received and Godzilla departed the podium to thunderous applause. A spokesman for the candidate said more information would be forthcoming.

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS: Godzilla Calls Press Conference for Thursday, 1pm EST. 

CONCORD (AP) -Today, a spokesman for Godzilla, the former destructive force of nature, issued a statement that Godzilla would be appearing tomorrow in Concord, New Hampshire to deliver a "major announcement." City officials seemed taken aback by the development. When reached for comment, the mayors office issued a brief statement, "AAAAAAAHHHHGHHHHHH."